Lesbian Sex Toys: A Complete Guide to Pleasure Products for Women

My first girlfriend and I spent way too much money on toys that did not work for us. We bought what looked interesting online without really understanding what we needed. Half of it sat in a drawer unused. The things we actually loved were usually the simplest and cheapest options. I wish someone had told me that sex between women is so varied that there is no universal toy recommendation. What works depends entirely on what you and your partner enjoy doing together.

The sex toy industry has historically focused on heterosexual experiences. That has improved but finding products that actually enhance intimacy between women still requires some knowledge. This guide covers what is available and what actually works.

Understanding What You Actually Need

Sex between women has no single template. Some couples focus primarily on oral and manual stimulation. Others love penetration. Many enjoy everything depending on mood and moment. Your toy needs depend entirely on what you and your partner actually do in bed. Not everything here will appeal to everyone. Take what is useful and skip what is not.

Vibrators

Vibrators are probably the most versatile category. They work solo and together and enhance almost any kind of sexual activity.

Clitoral stimulation is central to orgasm for most women. External vibrators focus specifically on this. Bullet vibrators are small and discreet and powerful. They are excellent for partnered play because they are easy to maneuver and do not get in the way. One partner can hold a bullet against the other during oral sex or manual stimulation or penetration with another toy.

Wand massagers are larger and deliver deep rumbly vibrations. The broad head covers more surface area and the powerful motor does not quit. Wands work beautifully when one partner uses it on the other. Some couples use one wand between them simultaneously.

Air pulse toys like Womanizer or Satisfyer use air pressure rather than traditional vibration. Many women find these create a different kind of stimulation. Some describe it as feeling like oral sex. For couples where one partner loves receiving oral but the other gets tired these can be helpful.

For those who enjoy penetration with vibration G-spot vibrators have curved shapes designed to reach that area. One partner can use this on the other while simultaneously providing clitoral stimulation manually or orally. Rabbit style vibrators combine internal and external stimulation in one toy. Less commonly used in partnered lesbian sex since they are somewhat self contained but some couples incorporate them.

Some vibrators are designed specifically for simultaneous use. We-Vibe and similar products are wearable vibrators that one partner wears internally while providing external stimulation. These allow for added sensation during scissoring or tribbing or other positions where bodies are close together.

Strap-Ons and Harnesses

For couples who enjoy penetration strap-ons open up significant possibilities. They allow one partner to penetrate the other in positions that would otherwise be difficult or impossible. A strap-on system has two main components. The harness and the dildo. You can mix and match these depending on preferences.

Underwear style harnesses look like briefs with an O-ring to hold the dildo. They are comfortable and secure and many women find them easier to use than jockstrap options. Good for beginners. Jockstrap harnesses have two straps around the thighs with a waistband. These leave the wearer genitals more accessible which matters if you want to receive stimulation while wearing the harness. They are adjustable and fit a wide range of body types.

Strapless strap-ons have a bulb that inserts into the wearer held in place by pelvic muscles. No harness needed. They take practice to use well but offer the advantage of both partners potentially feeling stimulation. Products like the Feeldoe and Share are popular in this category.

The dildo you choose matters significantly. If you are new to strap-ons start smaller than you think you need. You can always go larger later but starting too big leads to discomfort that makes the experience negative. A medium sized dildo around 5 to 6 inches with moderate girth works well for most beginners. Silicone is the gold standard. Body safe and easy to clean and compatible with water based lubricants. Avoid jelly rubber or PVC or other porous materials that can harbor bacteria. For harness use you need a dildo with a flared base that fits through the O-ring securely.

Double ended dildos allow penetration for both partners simultaneously. They require some coordination but can create unique shared experiences. They work best in positions where partners face each other or in doggy style arrangements.

Toys for Mutual Stimulation

Some products are designed specifically for simultaneous pleasure. Tribbing vibrators like the Pulse from Hot Octopuss are designed to be used between bodies during grinding. They provide vibration to both partners without getting in the way of physical connection. Positioning aids and wedges help achieve angles that make scissoring more comfortable and sustainable. While not toys in the traditional sense these can significantly improve positions that would otherwise strain backs or hips.

Oral Sex Enhancements

Oral sex is central to many lesbian relationships and several products enhance the experience. Dental dams provide a barrier during oral sex for safer sex. Particularly important for new partners or non monogamous situations. Many couples skip these in established relationships but they are worth knowing about.

Small vibrators that slip over the tongue add vibration to oral sex. They take some getting used to for the giver but can intensify sensation for the receiver. Wedge pillows and positioning aids help sustain comfortable positions for extended oral sessions. A pillow under the receiver hips changes the angle and reduces neck strain for the giver.

Kink and Power Play

Many couples explore power dynamics. Soft cuffs and under bed restraint systems and bondage tape allow for consensual restraint play. These work regardless of gender configuration and add psychological intensity to physical pleasure. Sensation play items like Wartenberg wheels and feathers and ice provide varied sensations. Paddles and floggers for those who enjoy impact play. Not gender specific but popular additions for couples who enjoy power exchange.

Quality and Safety

Whatever category interests you quality matters. Look for medical grade silicone or stainless steel or glass or hard plastic. Avoid jelly rubber or PVC or anything with strong chemical smells or anything labeled for novelty use only. These materials can be porous and harbor bacteria or contain chemicals you do not want inside your body.

Some brands consistently produce quality products. We-Vibe and Lelo and Dame and Fun Factory and Tantus and njoy and Satisfyer among others. You will pay more than for generic products but you are getting body safe materials and better engineering. Purchase from reputable retailers either brand websites directly or established sex toy shops. Avoid random marketplace sellers or suspiciously cheap products. Counterfeit toys exist and may not be body safe.

Practical Considerations

Clean toys before and after each use. Silicone and glass and steel can be washed with soap and water or toy cleaner. Store in clean breathable bags. Many toys come with storage pouches. Do not store silicone toys touching each other as they can degrade.

Lubricant improves almost every toy experience. With silicone toys use water based lubricant only since silicone lube can damage silicone toys. For glass or steel toys any lubricant works. Always use plenty. Friction is not your friend.

Communication is not a product but it is essential. Talk about what you want to try and what worked and what did not. The best toy in the world does nothing if partners are not communicating about how to use it pleasurably.

Budget Thinking

Sex toys range from 15 to 200 dollars or more. Harnesses and quality silicone dildos last for years so invest there. A good vibrator lasts longer than a cheap one and works better. Bullet vibrators and positioning aids and basic accessories do not need to be expensive. Good mid range products exist. Things you are experimenting with do not need to be premium. Just ensure they are body safe.

If you are new to incorporating toys into partnered sex consider starting with a quality bullet vibrator and good lubricant and a wedge pillow. This combination costs under 100 dollars total and significantly expands your options. From there add what interests you based on actual experience.

Common Questions

Do we need toys at all. No. Plenty of couples have fulfilling sex lives without any products. Toys are options not requirements. They can enhance but are not necessary for satisfaction.

Is using toys admitting something is lacking. No more than using a power drill admits your arms are not strong enough. Toys are tools that make certain things easier or possible. They add to your options not replace your abilities.

How do I bring up wanting to try toys. Outside the bedroom casually. I was reading about this and thought it might be fun to try works better than springing it on a partner mid sex. Give them time to think about it and share their own interests.

What if we do not like something we bought. It happens. Not every product works for every couple. If something does not work set it aside. Your interests might change or it might work in a different context. Do not force it.

What This Comes Down To

The best lesbian sex toys are whatever work for you and your partner. That might be an extensive collection or a single beloved vibrator. It might be nothing at all. The point is not to acquire products. It is to enhance your intimate connection.

Start with curiosity. Communicate openly. Prioritize body safe materials. Do not feel pressured to try anything that does not appeal to you. Your sexuality is yours to define and explore at your own pace with whatever tools or none feel right.