The Wedding That Wasn't

The wedding invitation arrived on a Tuesday, in an envelope so thick and creamy it probably cost more than my rent. I stared at it for a full minute before opening it, already knowing who it was from.

Sarah Mitchell was getting married.

My Sarah. The woman I'd spent four years with, two years crying over, and one year pretending to be completely over. That Sarah.

She was marrying someone named David, and apparently she wanted me there to witness it.

This is insane. You can't go to your ex-girlfriend's wedding.

I went to my ex-girlfriend's wedding.

* * *

The Night Before The Wedding

The rehearsal dinner was at a vineyard in Napa, because of course it was. Sarah had always loved wine, loved California, loved the finer things. I'd shown up in a dress I couldn't afford, with a smile I didn't feel, determined to prove that I was fine. Happy, even. Totally moved on.

I was not moved on.

"Nadia."

Her voice hit me like a punch to the chest. I turned, and there she was, even more beautiful than I remembered. Soft brown curls, warm brown eyes, that smile that had always made me feel like the only person in the room.

"Sarah. Congratulations."

The word tasted like ash.

"I'm so glad you came. I wasn't sure you would."

"Why wouldn't I? We're friends."

We weren't friends. We were two people who'd loved each other too much to stay together and not enough to make it work. But saying that out loud wasn't an option.

"David's heard so much about you. He's been wanting to meet you."

David was tall, handsome, and seemed genuinely nice. I hated him immediately and irrationally. He shook my hand and said something about finally meeting the famous Nadia, and I smiled and nodded and counted the seconds until I could escape.

I lasted an hour before fleeing to the bathroom, where I stood at the sink and tried very hard not to cry.

The door opened behind me.

"Hey."

Sarah. Of course it was Sarah.

"Shouldn't you be out there? Mingling with guests? Being the happy bride?"

"I saw you leave. You looked upset."

"I'm fi

ne."

"Nadia..."

"Don't. Don't do that. Don't say my name like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you still care. Like the last two years didn't happen. Like you didn't break my heart and then invite me to watch you marry someone else."

The words came out harsher than I intended, and Sarah's face crumpled slightly.

"That's not, I didn't mean, I just wanted you here because you're important to me. You'll always be important to me."

"Then why did you leave?"

The question hung in the air between us, the question I'd been asking myself for two years, the question I'd never had the courage to ask her directly.